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Courtesy [profile] call_me_robert. Used with Permission

I was once an obnoxious fat person. I had lost 60 lbs through a fluke, and gloated. I would tell people that all they needed to do was make lifestyle changes and they would lose weight too.

To all those people, consider this your public apology. I was wrong.

So, if in my joy over a perceived change that was fleeting I hurt you or made you feel less than the beautiful person you are, I am sorry. I feel it, I know it, and I am sorry I perpetuated it.

To my sons, I owe another apology, and hope the strides I am taking now in acceptance are soon enough to correct the damage. Food is a joyful thing, and I hope I have not robbed you of that joy.

To myself I especially apologize. In my quest to find acceptance and love from the outside, I abused you. I am now at my heaviest point, which may not have been a problem if I hadn't tried to lose weight so many times. I have and still do at times, viewed you with disgust and loathing. I have indulged in the "if only" game, and ignored legitimate health issues just because I thought they were because I was fat and deserved to suffer.

I have stuffed myself into too small clothes because I didn't want to admit I had gone up a size.

And the worst thing, in this spirit of confession, is that I have unintentionally supported a societal hatred of fat that goes beyond logic. I have maintained the status quo and not stood up for myself and others. I have actively participated in fat shaming.

But words are one thing, actions are another.

So this week (with the caveat that I can not start until the semester is over) I have volunteered as Non-profit and Legal issues team lead for COFRA. This is the Coalition of Fat Rights Activists. I am sure I will have a lot more to say as time goes one, but at least, for know, I am putting my money, time, and energy into making a difference.

Of course, this is along with my work with Magellan, the Family Involvement Center, and the MISS Foundation. Somebody stop me!!!

Cross-posted from Krista's Thoughts.

And, all the other posts you may think you are missing are there too.  I am just lazy.


April 2009

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