Krista's Notes

Que Sarah, Sarah: Take this Oprah!: "So now, I question my every thought and belief. What is the point in pursuing spirituality or faith when the messages you believed came from a higher source turned out to be mere fabicrations of my mind. Or perhaps this was to be my path, but things such as cancer and illness are out of the scope of God's control? A physiological accident happened, it was discovered at too late a stage for treatment to be effective, and now my path has changed? There is no point in searching for meaning in all this because I can't trust the meaning I find. Gah! I don't know what my point is. Nothing too brilliant. I guess I'm just having a pity party and whining that life isn't fair. Why do people who don't even want kids get accidentally pregnant, or people who are ambivalent but just have babies because they want someone to take care of them when they're old get pregnant, while women who really want kids suffer from infertility or illness? I guess I just want to scream: Yes, bad things happen to good people! Good things happen to bad people! There is such thing as being lucky and unlucky, and a lot of what happens in this life is absolutely random! Take that Oprah!"

Note: (I had saved this, and forgot to post it, but since I wrote it, I say it counts for NaBloPoMo)

Sarah is talking about Cancer, and unfortunately her journey ended this year. I found this through Moreena's blog and her post about Coping Mechanisms.

Bad things happen to good people.

Positivity does not change things.

Moreena and Sarah are speaking about making seriously ill people feel guilty and at fault for their illness if they can't maintain a positive avenue. I want to take this somewhere else entirely.



This post went to a completely different destination than I was intending. It is almost like they write themselves.

Storytime edition:

Once upon a time, the internet was this new, unexplored territory. I mean, wow! Anyone could get a site if they wanted one. So, I started with a Geocities site, then worked my way to my own domain name. I have not looked back since.
Part of the early site was when I was really trying to do something meaningful on the web. I wanted to have an impact and be known for something more than just being a stay at home mom and a college student. I had pages on attachment parenting, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, and many others. I joined online forums. In fact I was in an AOL parenting forum while in early labor with Aidan. I made friends, I made enemies, and I made mistakes. It was like adopting a whole new culture.

But that is not what this particular entry is about. This entry is an update to this. Go, read it- I will wait.


And yet, I am tired. I am worn thin, and am not sure how to deal with it. I would let others in and have them be a support, but they often don't understand what is going on. Having to continually explain it makes me feel so alone sometimes. Chris is a wonderful support, and I know he is getting it, but he is also concerned, frustrated, and feels powerless when things happen. I know that my friends are unsure what to do to help. I know society has no clue, and would rather write him off as someone who can't be helped. What can our family, friends, neighborhood, community, & society do?



Thanks to the Punjab Patty wedding, I was introduced to a Social Distortion song that brings me to tears. (pop up warning)



Konal says I am the strongest mom he knows.
Sometimes I wonder...

When I left off yesterday, I promised to address the question of "What about when he is older and bigger?"


Cross-post from Krista's Thoughts